Don't laugh too hard if you see me on TV.

Today I met a friend who is visiting here from the US. She is on the cast of Xanadu, a musical which has recently come to Japan.

• on the cast 配役を列する <- this is my own bad Japanese... someone help me, please! I can't find it in a dictionary.
  

She and I had lunch in Ginza. After lunch, we got Japanese-style pastries from the basement of Matsuya department store. Since I was in a hurry to go to my Japanese lesson, we were eating the pastries on the way to the station.

• in a hurry 急いで、慌てて
• on the way 途中で

At just that moment, we were stopped by a film crew shooting video for some Sunday TV show.

• film crew 映画制作班
• shoot video ビデオを撮る

I can't recall which station they were shooting for. Anyway, I was busy eating a pie-crust pastry filled with red bean paste and a chestnut, and they were filming me and asking me about some photograph. The photo was of a statue of a man who didn't look Japanese on a horse. They wanted to know if we knew who the man was. I had no idea.

• have no idea 全く分からない I have no idea. : 全然［さっぱり］分かりません。／見当もつきません。／全く考え付きません。

With crumbs falling out of my mouth, I tried to be a smart aleck in bad Japanese.

• smart aleck 生意気｛なまいき｝な男、自信過剰｛じしん かじょう｝の［厚かましい・知ったかぶりをする］人、（実力｛じつりょく｝がないのに）自己顕示欲｛じこ けんじ よく｝の強いやつ◆Aleckはもともと男性名Alexanderの愛称だが、この表現は男性に限らず使われる。◆【参考】smart arse ; smart ass Mick is a smart aleck in class, but very quiet at home. : ミックは教室では生意気だが、家ではとてもおとなしい。

I don't think it worked out so well, though.

• work out 何とか解決｛かいけつ｝する、丸く収める、何とかなる、うまくいく、いい結果｛けっか｝が出る、良い結果｛けっか｝となる

I have no idea if they will use the footage or not. Being in a hurry, I forgot to ask about the details of the program.

So, if you see me foolishly eating a pastry and speaking bad Japanese on TV this Sunday, now you know the whole story.

• know the whole story 話［事情｛じじょう｝］はすべて知っている

(most definitions from 英辞郎 on the web)